Well, folks, with it being the final week of my current university trimester, all my motivation has gone into completing my final assignments to the best of my ability. So, this week, allow me to leave you with a completely lazy list of songs I’d love the Muppets to tackle in the future.
Time Warp: The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Potential Performers: Kermit (as Riff-Raff), Janice (as Magenta), Dr Bunsen Honeydew (as the Criminologist), Miss Piggy (as Columbia) and the Muppets (as the Party Guests)
There was no way this song wasn’t going to make the top of this list. It’s almost too perfect. The zaniness and offbeat personality of the song seems custom made for the Muppets. If done properly and released on YouTube, it would be on par with Bohemian Rhapsody in success. In fact, I’m starting to question why they’ve never done it before.
You Can’t Stop the Beat: Hairspray
Potential Performers: Miss Piggy, Kermit, Piggy’s Mum (As performed by Frank Oz, because that would be perfect.), Gonzo, Camilla and the Muppets as the chorus.
The Muppets have never shied away from bold and brassy musical numbers. This song has always resonated with me due to its message. It’s not hard to imagine Miss Piggy as Tracey Turnblad, big, blond, beautiful and ready to prove to the world that she is worth all the attention she can get.
The Longest Time: Billy Joel
Potential Performers: Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo and Rizzo
Every time I hear this song, an image pops up in my mind of these characters singing it as a quartet on the darkened Muppet Theatre stage. The song is simple and relies on the lyrics for melody, something which seems to suit the Muppets to no end. It’s a shame they haven’t covered more Billy Joel in the past.
Imagine: John Lennon
Potential Performers: The Electric Mayhem
The Electric Mayhem is all about peace, love and well, mayhem. It’s not hard to imagine (all pun intended) them adding their own vibes to this already iconic song to make it well and truly theirs.
Piano Man: Billy Joel
Potential Performer: Rowlf the Dog
If you can have a Piano Man, who says you can’t have a Piano Dog? Rowlf would do this song poetic justice with his easy-going nature. This is the type of song he would’ve been singing nightly at that bar before he ever met Kermit and joined him on his mission to Hollywood.
Don’t Rain on My Parade: Funny Girl
Potential Performer: Miss Piggy
As if you can’t imagine Miss Piggy belting this one out while running around New York! Piggy has tackled big showstoppers in the past, so why not an iconic one such as this?
Born This Way: Lady Gaga
Potential Performers: Miss Piggy, Janice, Gonzo and The Muppets
You may have noticed that I’m staying away from more modern music. This shouldn’t be surprising considering the subject matter in most songs these days, but Born This Way is a potential anthem for what the Muppets stand for: embracing yourself for who you are.
And let’s face it: Gonzo would kill it during the coda.
I’m Yours: Jason Mraz
Potential Performer: Kermit the Frog
I haven’t got the faintest idea why I always imagine Kermit singing this to himself while cleaning up his apartment and making dinner for a relaxing night-in with Miss Piggy, but I do it anyway. It seems to be a song that Steve Whitmire could take on and do well with.
Minnie the Moocher: Cab Calloway and His Orchestra
Potential Performers: The Electric Mayhem
With Floyd at the helm, this could be the best cover The Electric Mayhem has ever done. Just listen for yourself and you’ll certainly hear the potential in the music.
Crazy Train: Black Sabbath
Potential Performers: Lips and/or Dr Teeth with The Electric Mayhem
Okay, I take back what I said about Minnie the Moocher. THIS would not only be the best cover of a song the EM has ever done; it would be the best song the Muppets have ever done. Period.
With my heart all rocked out, I bid you all adieu and will post again the week after next as I’m going to need a mental break after the past few weeks. In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy yourselves with whatever you’re doing in your lives.
Muppet Enthusiast, Film Lover, Book Adorer. No one original, but (hopefully) providing brand new perspectives for the world to process. Currently a Bachelor of Arts undergraduate at Deakin University.